(“So who’s going to be doing Intro D, E, and F in the next decade? “)

School teachers already know this. So do counter people at the Registry of Motor Vehicles. You can usually—not always—predict what level someone is showing by their first name. This is because, other than for Junior/Young Riders with doting parents, what kind of horse you can afford often depends on your station in life. Which, unless you’re a bank robber or a Zuckerberg, can be correlated with your age.

Think it’s a coincidence that the ranks of Adult Amateur Prix St. George and Intermediaire 1 are filled with baby boomeresque Marys, Lindas, Susans, and Janes? (Leave out the foreign component here.) It’s all about the empty nest and disposable income.

And the youngish professionals who grace the Open division are Jennifers, Heathers, Melanies, Jessicas, and Lindsays. The mid-thirties demographic says they can only afford the big time horse if they ride well enough for someone to pay them to show it. Otherwise, they’re stuck playing Queen of Second Level in the Hinterlands.

Hold up a Madison, Hannah, or Alexis, and I’ll pull out my First Level Whinney Widget in the blink of a vampire’s eye.

Here’s the actual rundown, according to Forbes Magazine, of most popular names by birth year. Do the math yourself.

Birth years 1950-1960:

Linda, Mary, Patricia, Barbara, Susan, Nancy, Deborah, Sandra, Carol, Kathleen, Karen, Donna, Lisa, Cynthia

Birth years 1970-1980:

Jennifer, Lisa, Kimberly, Michelle, Amy, Angela, Melissa, Tammy, Mary, Tracy, Amanda, Jessica, Sarah, Heather, Nicole, Amy, Elizabeth

Birth years 1990-2000: Jessica, Ashley, Brittany, Amanda, Samantha, Sarah, Stephanie, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Lauren, Emily, Hannah, Madison, Alexis, Taylor

So who’s going to be doing Intro D, E, and F in the next decade? Isabella, Sophia, Emma, Olivia, Ava, Emily, Abigail, Madison, Chloe, and .Mia. You can put money on it!

Before we leave the show scene, let me describe the ultimate version of multi-tasking which I witnessed from my judge’s booth recently. I’ve seen creative co-competitors reading their friend’s test for them while sitting ringside on their own horse. I’ve seen a helper running the camcorder for a friend from the saddle. This time I spied a rider’s coach not only reading her student’s test with one eye but simultaneously recording video from the other.

At ride’s end, I asked her to join her student at my table. “Pretty talented,” I effused, “but you know, if you had one of those little pipe chin racks, you could play your harmonica at the same time.

“And if you were really good, you could do it all on a pogo stick!”