(“Oh, you caught me! I was just goofing with you.”)

For each person, the tapestry of dressage reveals itself in an individual way. Some riders are “process people.” As a result, either from the philosophy they have created or from what they’ve read in books and magazines, everything they do is based on what they define as the “correct” way to train. And because Process trumps all else, they stick to it whether it’s working or not.

At the other end of the spectrum are people who are so goal-directed that the “rules” and even the horse’s welfare fall by the wayside as they try to climb the competitive mountain. You can probably guess what I think about the latter group. They are not to be respected.

The former is much harder to get a handle on. Colonel Sommer’s dictum “things take time” is a completely valid reminder. But not everything is supposed to take forever! As I wrote in DRESSAGE Unscrambled, if putting your horse on the aids is like solving a Rubik’s cube, there are too many riders who spend most of each session wandering around the house trying to remember where they left the cube.

For a rider, “tactful” is a desirable label. “Tentative” is not. I told one student that she appeared to give each aid as though it ended with a question mark. If you want your horse to believe you, you have to give the aids as though YOU believe them.

There is a fine line here. Yes, you are supposed to reflect… evaluate… adjust the message based on the horse’s reaction. And a particular aid may be applied gradually. To be definite, is not necessarily to be strong, sharp, or abrupt.

But in that instant when you commit to giving a certain aid, you have to “sell” it to the horse. It may be body language. It may amount to your aids not feeling “mushy.” It may equate to not tentatively making a brief aid and then abandoning the request in an “oh, forget it” tone.

Unless you are more crude and violent that the vast majority of adult amateur riders trying to figure out this sport, even if you give the wrong aid, you can undo it with no harm to your horse’s mind or body.

Working with one particular student who suffered great angst about her mare’s fussiness as she tried to gather her from free to medium walk, I suggested, “It’s not a chess match. Just pick her up as fast as you possibly can and ignore the resistance.” I had her do it three times in a row, and by the fourth time the mare came together easily as though she was saying, “Oh, you caught me! I was just goofing with you.”

Does this specific approach work on every horse? Of course not. That’s why you need an experienced, insightful instructor who can steer you through the maze of training possibilities. But be brave. When you ask for something, mean it!