(“He wants to do bigger jumps and whole courses,”)

No one, except pig owners, appreciate the scientific studies that concluded that pigs are smarter than your pet dog. I mean, we live in The Greatest Country in the World, and my school was The Greatest School Ever (unless you’re talking in which case yours was The Greatest School Ever). And, by the way, if I failed to mention it, we’re Number One. So naturally the same goes for my exceedingly clever dog who can read my thoughts, solve quadratic equations, and operate his own Game Boy console. And by extension—even lacking opposable thumbs—you’d better realize that my horse can do all that too.

So far, I see we’re all in agreement. But where some horse owners come to grief is when they over-anthropomorphize their horse’s behaviors and motivations.

“My horse tried to buck and run off after the cross rail because he was sad. He wants to do bigger jumps and whole courses,” she said. Really? You don’t suppose he was just happy that he could get away with something you couldn’t stop?

“When my horse lets me make a half halt, I stop and give him sugar.” With the time lag between aid/response and the standing around as you fish in your pocket for the treat, does he really associate the two? Or have you mostly taught him to twist his head around by your knee in anticipation whenever you halt?

“Head down! Head down!” she implores her horse on circle after circle. As if: a) he understands the words, and b) as if, should he actually lower his head, that will somehow equate to his accepting contact and the bit.

And then there’s “He doesn’t like to work in the evening,” “He gets mad when he makes a mistake,” “He doesn’t want me to use my outside leg.” My comeback in all of these cases is “And your point?” Unlike with your precious Only (human) Child, Helicopter Mama, you were not put on earth to please your horse. If you are rational, reasonable, and fair, he can be persuaded to please you.

We call that training. Your horse need not walk all over you to be your friend. And you don’t have to dominate him with force to build into your relationship the notion that granting you obedience and respect won’t diminish his self esteem.