(“I want my horse to learn to want what I want.”)

Have you noticed? By watching how a person interacts with her (or his) dog or child, you can often predict how she’ll deal with her horse. The horses we end up with, whatever our intentions, are so very much a product of our own personalities! Some of these relationships are carefully constructed. Others form by sheer happenstance with minimal self awareness.

It would be nice to think that we have a choice in the matter—that we can make some conscious decisions that will send us down different paths towards different outcomes—self awareness being the key construct in all this. So step back for a moment. Where do horses fit into your World View?

I can’t tell you which is the right way to see them, though I can bet if you have a purely utilitarian (dare I say “exploitative”) view of horses, you aren’t too likely to be reading what I write about. On the other hand, if you think riding (or even haltering) a horse robs him of his dignity and shouldn’t be allowed, we have come to a different sort of impasse. In between those two extremes, there’s still a lot of ground on which to stake your territory.

So among your introspections first you have to decide is your primary goal to make your horse your friend? Some version of “yes” is okay with me. If he’s especially old or infirm, that’s exactly all your goal needs to be. If he’s younger and in good health, then to my way of thinking embarking on a path that brings you closer both physically and emotionally beats just patting him and feeding him carrots. That’s where dressage comes in. It’s also where you are have to decide 1) if training another creature to be something other than what he would be without your input is ethical [See The Pequeninos in Speaker for the Dead], and 2) what your image of that “new” creature should be. By the way, you also must acknowledge that the training will change you as well!

As I mentioned earlier, whatever conclusions you draw will be a reflection of you as a person. Are you strong of mind—an achiever, affiliator, or accommodator? Do you wish to relate to your horse on your terms and in your language or in his? Have you observed and absorbed how horses relate to each other? I have great respect for people who are willing to build a relationship from scratch—the horse owners who will invest half in year in winning a wild horse’s trust to be able to touch him or to lead him. I respect that, but honestly it’s not my interest. Over the years I’ve been studying the language of dressage. I’ve cast my lot with how it can be the conduit to a different relationship as well as producing a thing of exquisite beauty when the conditions are right.

I don’t turn my nose up at you if you want to play games with your horse—especially if that makes him more receptive to other inputs. My games just may not be as stylized as ones you’ve been taught. I do insist that you recognize the physical power even the most placid horses possess. Their strength, their weight, and occasionally their will to assert themselves cannot be underestimated. “Spoiled” is a bad word if it’s describing your horse. I’m good with “pampered.”

“Resistance-free training” to my mind is a PR gimmick. Long before you descend into confrontation or violence, there is an acceptable level of, “I’m sorry. No, you CAN’T!” that’s fine to exercise. If that creates a momentary resistance, so what? The outcome is called learning. I want my horse to learn to want what I want.

That said, how we ride and school must stand up to scrutiny. I don’t believe in applying to horse training that line (misattributed to Otto von Bismarck) which goes “The making of laws is like the making of sausages—the less you know about the process the more you respect the result.” If we don’t respect the process, we disrespect ourselves.