(“Crazy horse, good rider”)

The itinerant instructor, weaving his (her) way through the exigencies of fear and confusion, never knows what he’ll confront on a given day. Teaching the “regulars” is easy. You know what they need. They are approximately tuned in to your game plan, and like climbing onto the Cyclone at Coney Island or Mantu at Busch Gardens, you know they’re along for the ride with you.

Clinics are different. On the bright side, they FEED you. You aren’t at home so the daily chores of horse management, dog management, and wife management aren’t in play. On the other hand, when you are transported up that driveway to a Great Unknown in a civilization far, far away from the daily grind, what happens next is anybody’s guess!

Sometimes you march into the ring cold. Other times the organizer will have provided you with a more or less elaborate synopsis of the riders you’ll meet. Below (with the names redacted) is a cribsheet one organizer handed me at 7:55 Saturday AM before I got to the weekend’s work.

8:00 Recently leased Grade 2 event horse

Training level event horse

9:00 Young, headstrong horse

Field hunter, working First Level

10:00 Shaky First Level

Cheerfully working Training Level

Very green horse and rider, may ask to be excused

1:00 21 year old horse, beginner, older rider

Horse and rider new to each other and out of condition

Ex-racehorse, serious rider

2:00 Young Training Level horse

Green event horse

Green horse and green rider

3:00 Young, resistant horse, experienced rider

19 year old horse, hunt seat rider

4:00 19 year old horse very experienced, new older rider

Crazy horse, good rider

That’s it verbatim. Understand, I’m not complaining. As I mentioned earlier, the organizer IS feeding me, and I’m not at home doing stalls. Sometimes clinics are easy. Sometimes they’re a bit of a challenge. Somehow, send them home happy. Have them all take away enough useful information and insight so as to carry them to the next time.

It’s an odd little dance we do, but it’s par for the course for riders who can’t afford or don’t think they need more frequent help. It may be just a lifeline we throw, but for the riders, it beats drowning. For me it beats walking the dogs at midnight.